Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Deep End: Are you a unicorn, or are you just happy to see me?

Don't doubt yourself, babe, even if you can't relax, even if you can't stop shaking. We're on top of the world and we're going down to the underground, so if you've got the urge, come on let's submerge. Afterwards we can steal softly thru snow and come on up to the house. Everything I've told you was true, so are you a unicorn, or are you just happy to see me? Oh please let me come into the storm, because it's quarter to three, and there's no one in the place except you, me, and Etta James.

The Deep End: Time Has Come Today!

The Deep End presents an hour long show dedicated to the concept of TIME. Now is the time, where is the truth? Maybe there's time to wait, but you know how time fades away. Time is tight, but if I could turn back the hands of time, there'd be time enough for rocking when we're old...uh-oh, I'm going to be late for the train.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Jonah the Fail: Your New King of Late Night Political Comedy

When the news hit that Stephen Colbert would be taking over for David Letterman as host of The Late Show on CBS and leaving behind the right-wing talk show pundit character he has portrayed for years on The Colbert Report, comedy fans wondered what would happen to the 11:30 slot on Comedy Central. Would Jon Stewart's Daily Show be followed by a sharp new half hour of political satire, or would Comedy Central fall back on the smirky fratboy humor that serves them so well the other 23 hours of the day? Well, fans of topical meta-jokes can relax now, because a worthy replacement for Colbert has been found! Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the comic stylings of Jonah Goldberg.

Like Colbert, Goldberg's genius lies in playing a clueless right-wing pundit named "Jonah Goldberg" who sees himself as a "conservative intellectual" while spouting hilarious parodies of bad writing and worse ideas, usually riddled with stale Star Wars or Simpsons references, mixed with one-liners swiped from old Ronald Reagan speeches. Part of the charm of his character is his goofy combination of laziness, sullen smugness, and word-salad articles where he contradicts his own point, often in the same sentence. Jonah's persona has fooled so many people that he managed to get hired as the editor-in-chief of National Review Online. His brilliant book-length lampoon of viciously muddy thinking, Liberal Fascism, (which hilariously refers to Hitler as "a man of the Left" and defends the weird assertion that liberalism is a form of fascism with the classic quote: ""Liberal fascism differs from classical fascism in many ways. I don't deny this. Indeed, it is central to my point") was actually taken seriously by people like Glenn Beck, who spent many tearful hours on camera in front of a chalkboard trying to make sense of Jonah's obviously sarcastic non-sequiturs about Woodrow Wilson.

Rumors are circulating around Comedy Central that Jonah has been deeply troubled lately that so many Republicans really believe he and his buffoonish character are one and the same. Many of them seem to admire the deliberately ignorant things he says, much like Colbert's character and before that, Archie Bunker of the groundbreaking sitcom All In The Family. Friends claim that he is hoping that, by moving into Colbert's old time slot, he can reach a more media-savvy young audience who get the joke. One makeup artist, who wishes to remain anonymous, quotes Goldberg as crying out in frustration, "My God, these people on the right! Hasn't anyone ever taught them about the old unreliable narrator trope?" while she applied simulated flop-sweat on his brow before the taping of the pilot episode.

Details about the new show are mostly being kept under wraps so far, but we do know that Jonah's first guest will be legendary comedian Andy Kaufman, who, after faking his own death as a joke back in 1984, has spent the last 30 years engaged in an elaborate performance art stunt under the pseudonym "Rick Santorum".

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Ear Candle Radio's Top 20 for April 2014

1. The Detroit Cobras - Oh My Lover - Love Life & Leaving
2. Mudwimin - Cloud Rodeo - Skiz
3. The Experimental Bunnies - Chain Of Lakes - Bunnies On Fire
4. X-tal - Long Dark Night - Everything Crash
5. Ninetynine - Always - Bande Magnetique
6. Helium - Silver Angel - The Dirt Of Luck
7. The Halo Benders - Turn It My Way - The Rebels Not In
8. Curtis Mayfield - Hard Times - There's No Place Like America Today
9. Bob Dylan & The Band - You Gotta Quit Kicking My Dog Around - A Tree With Roots
10. Siouxsie and the Banshees - Swimming Horses - Hyaena
11. Ruby Howl - Doubt - Heaven Hides There Too
12. The Rivingtons - You Are My Sunshine - The Liberty Years
13. Nina Simone - Four Women - Verve Jazz Masters 17: Nina Simone
14. Can - Oh Yeah - Tago Mago
15. The Cannanes - Crawler - Small Batch
16. Bessie Smith - A Good Man Is Hard To Find - Bessie Smith: The Complete Recordings, Vol. 3
17. The Bags - Babylonian Gorgon - All Bagged Up '77-'80
18. Subway Sect - Chain Smoking - We Oppose All Rock And Roll
19. Sandie Shaw - Your Time Is Gonna Come - Nothing Less Than Brilliant: The Best Of Sandie Shaw
20. Robert Wyatt - Rivmic Melodies - '68